4/2/10 "Subway Series" Evening Edition

Lauren Hills smooth voice sang, "My world it moves so fast today, the past it seems so far away..." as I stood above these fat toddlers on the train. A girl with wild hair and filthy fat feet in flip flops (say that 3 times fast lol) kicking me every few minutes. The boy being a whiny brat with ring around the mouth; probably from an icee or candy . They are fighting each other hence the kicking.

I'm looking at what I assume is their fat ass mother then back at them. My expression says "Tell them something before I kick them back. I will fight your kids, I do not care". She tries to quiet them to no avail. They fight harder. Just as I'm about to lose it the "mother" gets up and sits between them. "Dumb ass, you should have done that a long time ago" I think to myself rolling my eyes.

They get off the train at the next stop. I quickly scan the people nearest me, checking for pregnant women or elderly people. I see none so I plop down in the seat relieved. My feet hurt. I lean back, slowly closing my eyes, sighing with relief as notice a middle aged woman giving me the side eye. Upon closer examination I realize she's an woman. Oh well, no one told you to dress hip and dye ur hair. I look to my left and right at the men who have me sandwiched in. They are not budging. They are actually avoiding her eyes so I close mine for my nap.

Next stop, guy on my left gets off and she sits. Is she trying to elbow me to make more room for herself. I'm trying to nap! I WILL fight you grandma! I elbow her back and push my purse into her arm.

Gosh her breath smells like shit! I put my head in my hand wondering, does this only happen to me? What the hell?

I hate humans.

*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA