"Subwy Series" *Spring Edition*

It's the weekend. I hate taking the train but I especially hate taking the train on the weekend. There is always track work being done, rerouting, anything that equals delays!


It's a beautiful spring day. The sun is shining brightly. Dressed in light blue, denim jeans, a white, collared shirt, my heels are click clacking against the pavement. My hair which had been straight and neatly tucked behind my ears, now blew in a wavy tangled mess as I strutted. *click clack click clack* I'm walking to the train, headed 2 the city 2 have drinks with the girls.Wiping my forehead realizing it (the day) wasn't as beautiful as I had thought. It was, in fact, quite humid and uncomfortable.Rolling my eyes trying to pull my hair back into some sort of sensible style, I climbed the subway stairs.

The train arrived shortly after that and I walked on, IPOD blasting.

The train wasn't too crowded but I stood anyway. I didn't want 2 squeeze next to the fat man that was sizing me up or the woman with the fat toddler who was eating Doritos. I leaned back against the door and scanned the train. My eyes rested on a pair of huge leather boots. They were so fly! Dark reddish brown, pointed but not too pointy, laces and a strap. Definitely something you'd find on 8th Street in one of those shoe boutiques. A large Louie spy bag sat on the floor between the pointed boots. Light blue jeans tucked into the boots, white button up, perfectly manicured nails. Large, gold framed "Hollywood" shades. And a Dior scarf tied around the head? Hold on just one minute! This was me in my early twenties! I always rocked a scarf with or without a fedora and huge shades. Shoot, depending on how I feel, I STILL do. It's part of the reason why my friend Pete gave me the nickname Alicia C. (That was during the time Alicia Keys became popular.) But this was a MAN. And he was staring @ me. I looked down and realized we were dressed alike except I had on strappy sandals and no head scarf.

Then an announcement came over the loud speaker. "Last Stop!!" I mumbled a few curse words as I realized we were being told to take a shuttle bus. I was not pleased.

I scrambled with all the rest of the commuters to the awaiting shuttle buses.

Beads of sweat on my forehead. Nostrils flaring. I'm pissed! I stepped onto the bus. Pushed past the idiots standing by the door to the empty space toward the back.

I pass a young couple. The guy looks me up and down. The girl looks at me, at her man, back at me and rolls her eyes. "Eff you cunt" I say with my eyes. For this I stand in front of them, giving him a great view of my ass in my skin tight jeans.

The doors close and the bus pulls off. Jill Scott sings softly into my ears. I smile. Eyes resting on a toned arm of which the skin is so black and so smooth. Thick locks hung down to the elbow. I looked up into the darkest eyes with the darkest, thickest lashes I had ever seen. A perfectly lined beard around lips I wanted to bite. He was talking into a cell phone. His accent so thick and sexy. I immediately searched his fingers. I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. No rings! *giggle* I listened intently to what he was saying. "Yah baybey, mi ah come home in a lickle bit. Di train ah stop han mi haffi tek bus" Oh damn. Oh well, it doesn't hurt to look, right?

Finally, we arrive at the train station.

Cute dread man is forgotten as I hear the young girl yelling at her boyfriend for looking at my ass. I giggle and put a lil extra swing in my hips.



*Ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA.

4/19/10 "SUBWAY SERIES" *Train crush edition*

I'm feeling a little weak and drained. Awakened in the wee hours of the morning by an intense migraine so I'm moving in extra slow motion.


Dressed in a cream vneck sweater, dark slacks, cheetah print stilettos and a red trench coat, I walk slowly to the train. I'm not quite late so I don't make a mad dash when I hear a train approaching on the platform above me.

The sun is shining brightly. Its quite a beautiful day. I've remembered to apply sun block so I don't run to the shade.

I smile, visibly, when I see my train crush. I didn't mean to smile, he just looked so handsome in his crisp white shirt and his black trench with his smooth chocolate skin and bald head. *smile* I looked away as he strolled to where I stood on the platform. If only he would say something. I glanced at him again and then away as he walked and sat on the bench behind me. "Was that a smile?" I ask myself...did he give me the, "I see you looking" smile? Lol.

The train approaches. Its not the eastside train so I'll take it two stops and transfer. I have a perfect view of him and I feel myself smiling again. He really does have perfect features.

A seat opens and he sits. I wonder why when we get off at the next stop but he remains on the train as I exit.

I stand on the platform as two more westside trains pass. As the third westside train approaches I suck my teeth and board thinking I could've stayed on the first damn train with "TC" (train crush) and transferred further downtown. I slide into a seat next to a cute guy. He dressed decent. Slacks, shoes, shirt, blazer..but something about him looks unpolished.

He has on huge dj headphones. "Corny" I think to myself as he starts bopping extra hard to a rap song. He's making hand gestures and saying the words out loud. "Nigga....fuck...what" Nostrils flare. I turn my lip in disgust. I swing my purse extra hard to "accidentally" smack him with it. I turn and look at him in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me" I mutter. This fool smiles and gives me the "eye"..*gasp* Are u fucking joking? Do u honestly think I'm interested in you. *vomit*

Oh good my stop. I bustle off the train shaking my head because I missed an opportunity to stare at "TC" only to ride the train with "Homeboy from the hood..with a job"

*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

4/17/10 "Subway Series Weekend edition"

It's Sunday afternoon. I feel quite accomplished. I've just walked three miles for MS which is more than I will walk for the rest of the year. Lol.


Dressed in hoodies, sneakers, hollywood shades and capri running tights my friend and I walk onto the train. I'm struggling with a bag full of give aways and I'm wearing a black skully hat. Her hair is in a curly afro puff.
We are engaged in conversations about life, music and relationships.

We laugh as we talk about "racial profiling" on the train. Lol. Anyone who rides the train KNOWs what this is. On a semi crowded train you look for a pigment deficient to stand in front of because you know they are getting off at a particular stop. I explain that that doesn't always work for me because many times they are getting off at MY stop. I HAVE kind of mastered the art of recognizing the "Soprano" type that live near me. They have a more "European" look, rather than "American".

Throughout our conversation we notice and laugh about different things. The chubby guy wearing skinny jeans and sneakers with the large tongues hanging. The older black woman wearing glasses who appears to be reading a magazine but repeatedly looks up at us smiling. The white guy in jeans so tight he has a camel toe.

I point out two men who I know will be getting off at my stop. One in a black leather motorcycle jacket and dark hair and an older man with white hair and a dark gray smoking jacket.

My attention rests on the young hispanic woman who has been lip singing with her eyes closed the entire ride. I looked up and she's eating Mc Donald's fries. "Where did she get those from?", I ask my friend. We laugh and continue talking. I look up again and she has a fountain drink. "What the hell? Does she have a Mc Donald's in her purse?" Lol

We have now arrived at my friends stop, I laugh as I point out the two "Soprano" guys are still on the train.
I lean back and close my eyes..I'm exhausted. 15 minute cat nap will do me just fine.
The train arrives at my stop. I get up and sure enough, the two gentlemen get up to get off as well.
I laugh to myself. I knew it.
 
*ding dong*
Thank you for riding the MTA

4/14/10 "subway series"

By now you KNOW I hate humans. All humans. Blax, pigment deficient, mira etes, teens, crying babies. The list goes on. So it doesn't take much to piss me off. But one thing I cannot take is people smacking and cracking their gum.


It's beautiful out. I had a rough night and woke with a migraine but the sun is shining. The temperature is perfect and I feel fabulous. Dressed in black leather pumps, fitted black slacks, fitted white tea wit a lilac, v neck sweater, and a blazer. My hair is blowing in the wind as I walk to the train station.

Walking on the platform face in blackberry I'm surprised to look up and see my train crush. I stand with my back facing him smiling to myself, knowing he's sizing me up. Seems like it takes forever but the train finally comes. It's crowded as all hell. GREAT! I step onto the train. Annoyed because everyone seems to be standing at the door and there is space in the train. I suck my teeth and push through to stand in the empty part of the train. I'm standing next to a fat belly, Shaba Ranks who is smacking his gum and staring at me with his red beady eyes. I roll my eyes and turn away from him.

At the next stop on walks an old guy wearing a fedora , that I want to steal off his head, a wool sweater, and glasses hanging down at the tip of his nose. He's peering over his glasses staring at me. Why is he looking me up and down? And chewing that got damned gum like a cow!! His mouth is hanging open and he's smacking and chewing leering at me. I roll my eyes in disgust and avert my eyes. Don't want him mistaking my angry gaze with interest.

Then, the worst thing happens...my ipod dies!!! OH NO! Now I can hear he AND Shabba smacking and chewing. Holy crap I'm gonna spazz. I'm gonna have an episode on the train. I'm gonna start screaming and cursing and throwing things. Breath, breath, breath. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7..I'm breathing and counting. Counting and breathing. Praying "Jesus, lawd have mercy. Please lawd help me to calm down." Breath breath. You can do it.

My eyes scan the train for my crush. Where the hell did he go?

I think I'm starting to sweat. Steam is coming out of my ears. "What the fuck!?" I blurt out. I roll my head back slowly and let out a deep breath. I'm not embarrassed. I'm a little off and the smacking is creating a nervous tick.

"Ok, just one more stop to go, I can do this." I'm thinking when I feel a tap on my arm. "Hexcuse me" a voice says, my head whips around and I glare at Shabba. "What!?" I snarl at him. "I just want to pass." The train is now ridiculously crowded and people are piled up against each other. "You wait!" I growl. Then look back at Fedora hat man who is still smacking and leering. I feel more out bursts coming. I'm not going to be able to contain myself.

Oh thank God! It's my stop.

I shuffle off the train with the throng of commuters. A young woman with 15 packs of greasy weave is in front of me. She swings her greasy horse hair and it hits me in the face. LAST STRAW!! I reach out to grab her by it and pull her down to the floor. At that very moment someone cut in front of me. I growl out at least 15 expletives as I charge up the stairs...Deep breath. Aahhhhhh fresh air. I'm ok now.





*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

4/8/10 "Subway Series" Grumpy Old men edition.

It's only 6am and it's already over 70 degrees. I've been up since 4:30 and I'm in no mood for the bullshit. I have to open the office so being late is not an option. I'm locking the door to the apartment listening to the birds singing their praises to the sky. I smile and run down the five flights, in my five inch sandals, to the lobby.


I walk briskly to the train station. Hair blowing in the wind. Linen pants, bright green tank, and yellow short sleeved jacket. My Hollywood Mocha, shades atop my head holding back my hair.

I'm greeted by two old white guys in baseball caps, glasses, and BLUE polo shirts. If they had on shorts they'd have tube socks to their knees, I'm sure. Lol.

They are arguing. "Your an idiot" shouts one. "Oh shut your mouth" shouts the other. I'm quite amused. There is a puddle of coffee at the turnstile, and a little blue paper cup, which I gather is the catalyst of the argument.

I follow them up the stairs, smiling to myself and on says something about "Roman Polanski" and the other shouts, "Not his wife u idiot". These old guys are hysterical and remind me of my grandpop, a very cantankerous old man who I should probably go visit soon.

I'm lost in my own memories as I hear old guy number one say to old guy number two, "You know, it was great having you here. I've missed you". They embrace briefly and continue arguing. I chuckle.

The train is approaching. I turn on my ipod as I walk on. Faith Evans sings, "I see the lighting flashing, heard the thunder roll. I feel the cold winds blowing, trying to conquer my soul"

I take a seat by a small black man in a business suit across from a cute Hispanic guy in a tight white shirt, a young girl who looks like she hasn't washed her face but has her bedazzled blackberry in hand. An Indian guy in a baseball cap, a flight jacket and shifty eyes is staring at me. I immediately think of "24" and think, "I will fuck u up if u try to blow up this train and make me late for work." Every few seconds his scary eyes look at me and every time he looks I roll my eyes and my nostrils flare. I realize he's probably a West Indian from Guyana or Trinidad but I stare at him until my eyes get heavy and I fall asleep.

Damn the media for turning me into a paranoid freak. Lol

*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA