~The Deranged Edition~

I've had a not so great week, so I'm meeting up with the girls at our favorite little treasure in Harlem. It's chilly but not freezing. Dressed in a fur vest and hat, jeans and boots, I walk onto the train.


I sit between a guy dressed in a knit winter hat and a huge coat and a petite girl wearing a tiny flight jacket.

I sit back in the seat and feel my phone vibrate. I sit up to remove it from my pocket and sit back again. I respond to a few bbm messages and put the phone back in my pocket. A song begins to play that I'm not in the mood to hear. I lean up again and pull my IPod from my pocket to skip to the next song and lean back. I'm totally oblivious to the fact that I'm bumping the people beside me with each move I make.

My phone vibrates again and I lean up. The guy to my right sucks his teeth and bumps me slightly with his elbow.

I look at him incredulously because he used MY move against me! The nerve!

I bump him back "accidentally".

"Miss, you keep bumping me!” he spits. I look him up and down wondering if I could take him in a fight. I roll my eyes and growl, "So? It wasn't on purpose.""Well you didn't say sorry!""What are you, three? Gimme a break, the train is crowded." I snarl as I turn my attention back to my phone. Why did I do that?! All hell broke loose!

"You bitch!" He screams. My head snaps to face him. "What!?" And so began his tirade. "You stupid bitch! You think you're so fucking cute with your fur. I don't give a fuck about you. I fight girls. I just got outta jail. I don't care if I go back. It's nothing to me."

As I stared at him I knew I had two choices: get into a screaming match with a fool which would possibly lead to a physical altercation or ignore him.

As I continue to stare into his eyes I reach into my pocket to retrieve my vibrating phone he says, "I don't care, call your man. I'll beat his ass too." At this point I realize this dude is clearly deranged because we are on the train and he's telling me to call my man to come fight him as if we are in the park or at school. "Fucking idiot, stfu" I say as, again, I turn my attention back to my phone and ignore him. He gets upset and stands up telling me he hates me. I continue to ignore him and he leaves.

I'm suddenly aware of the people around me and I look up. The heavyset, west indian woman across from me is peering over her glasses giving me the, “Girl he's crazy" look. The small girl beside me inches closer to me. I look at her thinking she's strange.

My hand begins to tremble slightly as I think about how that COULD have gone.

The train is approaching my stop so I get up and stand by the door. I hear a familiar voice say, "Fake ass America's Next Top Model ass bitch"

I laugh as I exit the train saying, "You must be missing your cell mate." The train doors close slowly as he begins another tirade. I stick out my tongue and give him the finger as the train pulls away.

Lmfao.

 

*Ding Dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA