~SPRING BLIZZARD EDITION~

I've stayed at work far later than I had planned, but I wanted to get my patients squared away with their prescriptions before the weekend and it's not like anyone else is going to take care of it.
It's Friday. I'm about to TURN UP! On my couch with a glass of merlot or Grand Marnier. Ha!
I finally leave the office, after five, satisfied that the patients are taken care of and I won't have extra work on Monday which is always an extremely busy day.
It's the first day of spring and it's snowing. A LOT. It's a blizzard! (Not really.) It feels like it's been winter for a year. I arrive at the train station and the platform is beyond crowded. I'm kicking myself for staying late when three trains come and go before I'm able to get on.
I refuse to get upset.
It's Friday.
I won't have to do this for another two days.
I take solace in this thought.
I take the train one stop and transfer to the express which is moving at a pace that is anything BUT express; stopping in between stops and sitting at stations longer than it should.
Still...I refuse to get upset.
When the train takes a different route and then the announcement, "This is the last stop" halfway through my commute, the stream begins to slowly leak from my ears. Everyone steps off of the train onto an already crowded platform. Apparently many trains have gone out of service. I wait to see what happens as another train pulls into the station a couple seconds later but it too goes out of service. I walk downstairs to the platform where my train was supposed to have pulled in. I don't get excited that a train is already in the station and it isn't crowded because something feels off.
Wait...
It's dark and I don't hear the rumble of the AC. It's eerily quiet. This is not a good sign.
There is announcement about police activity or something. A sick passenger? Sure. I stand on the train for 10 minutes as people keep piling in, no doubt, after being told their train upstairs is out of service. Another announcement. "Loss of power at the next station...held in the station"
Reluctantly, I push through people to get off of the train and out of the train station.
I surface above ground to chaos.
Everyone is trying to catch a cab. The station is betwixt a junior college and a high school. Madness. Too many bodies. I'm about to snap. Did I mention there is a blizzard? I walk quickly across the street to the bus stop and wait for the express. I take a few deep breaths.
I'm calm.
The wind blows and the flakes slap me in the face.
The streets are covered in ice.
I listen to my music.
The bus comes and I sit in a seat, cringing at the dirt and grime on the wall in front of me. I quickly move when a single seat becomes available.
The windows are foggy and I keep wiping them to see where I am.
The bus has stopped but the light is green.
Flashing lights.
Sirens.
FML!
The police direct the bus pas the service lane and everyone looks out the windows on the opposite side of the bus...they gasp collectively. "It's a little girl." "Oh my God."
Murmurs.
I see an ambulance but I can't bring myself to get up to look out the window. I just want to get home to my bed and some alcohol. (I will later learn a child and a man were killed by a cab that jumped the sidewalk.)
I finally arrive at the stop where I need to transfer to another bus.
It's now after seven.
I feel the hint of a stress headache.
I do some deep breathing and try to relax. Everything just seems crazy. It feels like everyone that passed me is trying to bump me. Every person is going to attack me.
The bus arrives and I stand at the door. Am I having a panic attack?
I want to snap someone's neck.
Breathing is not helping I want to kill.
Before I know it the bus stops at my stop and I get off.
Back to civilization.
I'm home.
I'm pretty sure a single tear escapes as I kick off my shoes and strip, throwing all my clothes on the floor.
Finally.

*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

~BATTLE OF THE TRAIN PERFORMERS EDITION~

I know it's been forever. I had to tell this story. lol

I've gotten into the practice of trying to begin my day with positivity through guided meditation and reciting positive mantras and affirmations while on my morning commute. 

Not only so that I don't kill anyone in a psychotic rage while on the train..but for my overall well being.

I've settled into my seat with my tablet and morning beverage in hand and a smile on my face.

I'm reading positive quotes as the train pulls into the next station. People pile onto the train racing for seats. I notice a man with what appears to be a violin case. He looked like he may have been a music teacher, dressed in slacks and a striped collared shirt. He sets the case onto the floor. 

Standing at the door as they are closing is the small black man with his bible. He speaks in an extremely loud voice, "Good morning!" and he goes into his religious spiel. The man with the violin tries to dart for the already closing doors and they close in his face. The woman sitting across from me busts out laughing at the look of despair on the man's face. He's looks like a trapped animal.  

I assume he realizes he is on an express train and will skip about 10 stops. He mutters something and stands against the door to the left of me. I shrug it off and I'm about to continue reading when I hear him begin to sing

softly and strum the strings of his instrument. 

Realization hits me as the mini battle of the preacher and the musician begin. 

I feel like I am in the twilight zone as the man, to my left, plays and sings trying to drown out the preacher, and the preacher across from me to the right screams ever louder trying to wake the dead. 

I look back and forth between them in amusement. 

Is this really happening? 

So, neither of them is going to leave the other to this train car? 

No?

Ok. 

Finally, the singer stops and puts away his instrument. I shake my head and begin my meditation. 

*ding dong* 

Thank your for riding the MTA

~Cranky~

Ever just want to punch a bitch in the face or toss a hot beverage in their direction?
I haven't had a good nights sleep in DAYS!

I'm cranky and my eyes are barely open as I wait for the train, tea in hand, heels in bag.
The train approaches and everyone inches toward the edge of the platform. The race for seats will start as soon as the doors open.
I am directly in front of the train door. I step aside to let the passengers off and to allow the pregnant woman to go ahead of me. 
I feel a slight push that becomes increasingly more aggressive. 
Is this person blind therefore they cannot see the people exiting the train? 
This MUST be the answer I think as I turn to look behind me, in disbelief. 
It's a perfectly healthy young woman who has the nerve to roll her eyes at me for not pushing past the people to get onto the train. I swing my huge bag over my shoulder in hopes that it slaps the shit out of her. 
She's still pushing me as I begin to step onto the train. 
I want to snatch her by her unnatural blonde/orange hair and kick her in the face. Instead I simply block her so she cannot sit before the pregnant girl, or me for that matter.
I settle into my seat and look up to see her giving me the stare of death.
I laugh at her and settle in for my nap.
Bitch.

*ding dong*
Thank you for riding the MTA

~Hood Booger family Edition~

I hate hoodboogers. I hate the way they smell. I hate the way they speak. I hate that they procreate and bring children into the world. I hate their dusty lil, disrespectful kids. *rolls eyes*

I'm rushing. My nap after Sunday service turned into a long sleep and I have somewhere to be.
Dressed in a white dress and cream trench with a pink flower in my hair, I'm the picture of prim and proper perfection. 
The train arrives and I inspect the seat before sitting. 
Just as the doors are about close a chick throws her bag onto the train laughing and speaking loudly she and what appears to be her dusty hoodbooger crew run onto the train.
Nostrils flared, body tensed, I become aggravated as she sits her dusty, however cute, kid beside me.
The kid immediately begins swinging her legs. I'm imagining her foot connecting with my bare leg and me flinging her across the train car.
She's whining about something and reaching across my face to her mother asking for something.
I'm not a fan of grubby paws in my face. I want to rip her arm out of it's socket. I see the mother with a black, bodega bag filled with junk. Doritos, cheese popcorn, etc.
The kid wants the Doritos. The hoodbooger mother says, "You don't want the popcorn? It's healthy!" Poor delusional soul. 
The kid swings her legs in what appears to be the beginnings of a tantrum. I look on in disgust and disbelief as the mother concedes and hands over the cheesy Doritos.
The rugrat begins to lick, one side then the other, of the chip. Her hands orange from the imitation cheese. 
She proceeds to crunch and crackle and I watch as Dorito crumbs spray all over her shirt and the small space between us. 
The mother quickly leans across me and flicks the chip crumbs onto the train floor.
At this point I'm sure there is smoke coming from my ears. 
I keep looking at the little girl and her hands expecting the train to suddenly jerk and her grubby little orange fingers to touch me. 
As the train pulled into the next station, a few s

eats opened up and the mother moved the child to sit next to her.
I realized it was not a band of merry hood boogers at all, but a mother and her two daughters. 
They were hood for sure but I realized the mother was dressed in scrubs. Clearly she has a job.
The kids weren't dirty..just dressed badly. Gaudy, urban, fashion.
As I watched her hug and kiss the little one and talk and laugh with the other, I saw a loving mother and her kids.
I immediately felt ashamed for having judged her from her attire.
I took out my fone and began to type.

*Ding dong*
Thank you for riding the MTA

~ Chivalry is dead Edition`

I'm slightly out of breath because I had to run to catch the train. (I didn't want to be late for work, AGAIN)
It appeared that all the men on the platform had pushed past all the women to get on the train first.
I watched a man push past a woman and her child to get a seat.
I sucked my teeth and sneered in disgust.
Maybe I'm crazy.
Maybe I'm from a different time (though these men were clearly older than me..although u can never tell with Europeans.)
Maybe I was just raised better.
As R. Kelly swooned in my ears about getting lost in my love, I pondered where common courtesy had gone and why men nowadays find it ok, NOT to let a woman sit first or give up their seat for a woman.
I read the advertisements for "Zipcar" rentals.
"No booty call shall go unanswered", "the official vehicle of 'Get your stuff out of my apartment'"
As I wondered who had come up with this nonsense, the train pulled into the next station.
A visibly pregnant woman entered the train.
I look around at all the seated men who suddenly have fallen asleep, shaking my head in disgust.
I look around at all the standing women and seated "men" knowing if any of the women were sitting they'd have given her their seats.
Sneering at a little prick who finally gets up and asks if she wants to sit (because he's getting off) I know that I'm going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the morning

 *ding dong*

~Thank You for riding the MTA~