~Transit Worker Edition~

I can't see shit!


I never carry my glasses and my contact was irritating me so I threw it away.

Clearly I didn't think this through. I had multiple hours left to work staring at the computer and I can't see at night with BOTH contacts. Smh

I ponder for about five seconds if I should take a cab home or not. It's not that late.

I walk down the steps to the subway.

In a form fitting royal blue belted dress and cheetah print sandals, I'm fumbling with my large bag trying to get my headphones while texting and trying to see how long I have to wait for the next train.

I'm deep in my bag totally oblivious to my surroundings. I hear a voice. "Daaamn"

I don't look up. He sounds like someone's pervy uncle. He's saying something else. I'm half listening.

He says, "I like your natural hair. Actually. I like everything." I offer a smile in hopes he will go away. I finally look up. It's the man from the booth. He asks if I take this train every night. I smile but do not answer. He continues to talk. "I'm here every Monday and Tuesday" he says.

I squint at the sign wondering why this three minutes is taking so long.

He's not bad looking. Handsome even. But he is probably old enough to be my father.

He asks my name. "Mocha" I say. "Oh you know they have a spot called Moca uptown" I roll my eyes. "Yes, I know."

He laughs.

This is the longest three minutes in life.

"So are you gonna give me your number?" I smile as I get on the train and the doors close behind me wondering how I'm gonna avoid him tomorrow.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

SUBWAY SERIES ~Miserable Teen Edition~

We established ages ago that while I hate all humans, I hate teens the most.

I nodded my head, with my lip turned up in my signature snarl, to the melodic screams, drums and electric guitars of 30 Seconds to Mars playing through my headphones.

Dressed in white fitted slacks, a blue and green floral blouse, shades and bedazzled flip flops. I was the poster girl for summer.

The train arrived and the teen girls who had been standing somewhere behind me pushed past me to get onto the train as I had stepped aside to let the people off. I grunted and kicked the one closest to me. Her neck snapped quickly to face me and I stared at her daring her to say something. she looked away.

I continue to bop my head feeling a hot stare burning a hole into the side of me.

I turn to see a set of teens to my right and a lone teen leaning against the door.

They all look miserable and I think to myself, "Where the hell are all these got damned kids going?"

The loner leaning on the door had the typical teen expression, "I hate life. No one understands me. Why is life so haaaard?"

I rolled my eyes thinking, "Little girl, you have no idea what life is even about yet.". I wanted to smack a smile onto her frowning face. She was dressed sloppily in sweats and a t-shirt that did not hide her muffin top.

I laughed to myself as I thought, "Sheesh I'm getting old and turning into my mother!" I was once that miserable teen, thinking I knew everything but knowing nothing.

I was still looking at the miserable teen wanting to smack her as the train pulled into the next station. It became crowded and I snarled at the Hispanic man and inched away from him as he stared at me. I rolled my eyes and turned to see who I was bumping into.

And there he was. At least 6'3" with chocolate skin and broad shoulders. He wore a polo shirt and it fit snugly over his frame and arms..Lawd his ARMS! His biceps the size of my thighs! It took everything in me not to lick the chocolate arm that was stretched out in front of me holding on. He looked at me with a slight apologetic smile as the train grew increasingly more crowed and he got closer. I blushed and turned away. He stared at me for a bit then turned away. Then he continued to steal glances. I watched all of this from behind my shades as I faced forward.

And then..when I thought I had met the chocolate man of my dreams..and thought of the beautiful chocolate babies we would have, he puffed up his chest like a peacock. I raised a brow. Laughing to myself at this blatant attempt to get my attention.

The train pulled into the next station and another man entered the train and began to stare. I was beginning to think my panties were on the outside of my pants when it hit me, I was wearing white pants. White pants give me super powers.

Bahahahahahha!

I returned my gaze to my future husband and almost gasped in horror.

He had begun bopping super hard to his loud ass rap music that I could hear over mine.

This love affair was OVER. I turned away and kept my head turned until he left the train.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA.

~The Signs Edition~

"I don't wanna wait in vain for your love" Bob Marley sang sweetly in my ears as I stepped onto the train and took a seat on the express train.

Dressed in animal print flip flops with matching bag, shades, a denim dress and hot pink wrap around, I fluffed my fro.
I began to take inventory of the other passengers.
I spied two woman, one in her 40s or 50s and the other in her 20s or 30s. They both looked bland and tired and wore a look as if they hated life. They were both a twinkie away from needing to call Jenny Craig.
They were both married. The older woman with a two simple gold bands one containing a beauitful cut diamond. A traditional ring. The kind I love. The younger girl wore a more modern ring of white gold. I didn't like it. I wondered if they loved their husbands.
My attention was averted when I felt eyes staring at me. A black skinned man in a striped shirt was staring at me. I rolled my eyes. He was well dressed but it's as if he had "I am di shit, I am a pimp" written on his forehead. I was not the least bit interested.
Was it my imagination or were signs popping up on all the men's foreheads? There was a younger fellow sitting beside him, tattoos, tims, fitted, beautiful frame, (I couldn't stop staring at his arms) his sign read, "I'm really a nice guy but I'm a little slow and a victim of my surroundings" I chuckled to myself because he really DID look like he was missing a chromosome. Lol
I spotted a dread. Dressed in windbreaker pants and a t-shirt. He had a huge backpack and wore glasses on his face. We locked eyes briefly then he turned away shyly and pulled out a book to read. (I couldn't see the title.) His sign read, "I think you're beautiful but I doubt you'll look at me twice because I'm plain and slim with no real muscle tone so I won't even bother." I looked at him a few seconds more but the trained stopped and filled with rush hour commuters. I leaned back resting my head on the wall behind me wondering what all these people I had analyzed were thinking of me at that same moment. I shrugged as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

*ding dong*
Thank you for riding the MTA

3/27/10 ~CrackHead Edition~

I have a filthy mouth. I curse sometimes just to curse but I HATE to hear other ppl curse. I cringe even more so when it's a young girl. I also use the "n word" often, but it pisses me off tremendously to hear other ppl use it in public, especially NON blacks. Did I mention I hate humans? *sigh*


I turn on my ipod as the train pulls into the station. Head nodding to the beat I walk onto the train.

I take a seat and lean back preparing for my 40 minute nap. Oh crap! My ipod dies mid song.

I'm pissed off now so when this young couple gets on with their loud ghetto talk, I am NOT amused.

I stare at them with disdain as I wonder why they are so loud. My eyes open wide as I realize these young people are drugies.

She's sitting directly across from me and I'm staring in disbelief. She is barely over 25, hispanic, with dark lips, and many missing teeth. She appears to be pregnant. A seat opens up near me and the guy sits. I look at him in disgust. Not because he is a crack head but because he's sitting next to me.

They are sitting across from each other shouting a conversation.

I immediately ask the female if she wants 2 sit in my seat. She declines.

He yells to her, "Get up! She sees we're talking to each other. She being nice." She shakes her head. He replies "That's aight. I don't mind sittin' next to her anyway, 'cause she pretty anyway. Don't she look like Diane?"

I'm not happy. I want to get the hell off the train. Why am I on this train? I'm trying my best not to scream, "Shut the fuck up!". I'm trying to distract myself with everything that I can. Fiddling in my purse, I pull out my trusty blackberry and continue the ping pong game I was started earlier that day. Why is he staring at it? "Yo that joint is moving mad fast. Oh oh. She's good"

I feel my face burning with anger. Is that steam coming from my ears? Am I growling? Lol

A seat opens up beside the girl and he moves over to her. And now the show begins. He starts antagonizing all the passengers nearest him. "What the fuck you looking at?" He screams at an older white woman. "Oh that niggas head is mad big! Fucking wet back" he screams at the Mexican man. The Mexican man just stares at him. The guy proceeds to scream at him, "What the fuck you lookin' at be? I should give u a buck fifty across ya face. You lucky I don't have a gun or knife on me." The mexican man just stares at him while everyone else avoids his eyes. "If we was locked up I would fuck you up. A nigga just got home. I don't give a fuck about nothing." Enter the Asian woman selling DVDs. He whispers loudly to the girl, "Watch this" to the Asian woman, "Let me see what you got"

At this point I'm over the show and wondering why the hell haven't they gotten off the train yet. I'm looking around to see what stop we're approaching, because this is some south Bronx shit. Lol

He attempted to steal the DVDs and tell the woman he was a cop and she had no license to sell. He continues to scream at the Mexican man. "You oblay ispanal?"

I need out. I have to get off this train. Oh great they are getting off. "Bye pretty" he says to me as he exits.

I roll my eyes and think to myself, "This is what I get being cheap and taking the train instead of a cab." I knw better nxt time.

It' seems as if everyone let out a sigh of relief as the couple exits the train.

I can't wait to get back to my side of town and back to normal civilization.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

March 22 "Subway Crush Series"

I had to run back to the house because I had forgotten something. Good thing I wasn't late YET but of course, when I arrived at the station there is some idiot who doesn't knw how to swipe her metro card.

The train is coming and there is a line because she is running back and forth swiping at each turnstile. I shake my head as I push past her and swipe my card. Greeted by a throng of teens running down the stairs. I reach the top just as the doors of the train close. GREAT! Now I'm probably going to be late.

Nostrils flaring I stand looking to see if another train is coming. The dumb ass that couldn't swipe her metro card is mumbling something abt me taking her fare. I wish she WOULD say something to me. I look to my left and see one of my train crushes.  He's tall. About 6' 4", he has a smooth milk chocolate complexion. Bald que ball head. lol No facial hair. Nice full lips. He's always dressed sharp. He's wearing dark pin striped slacks with a crisp white shirt and a dark cardigan. He's wearing brown italian shoes and has on glasses today. He's carrying his Tommy Hilfiger man purse. He stands in his usual spot near the stairs. He doesn't notice me yet so I can stare for a while before appearing like a stalker. *giggle* He looks up and sees me. I pretend not to see him. This means he's going to move closer but of course he's not going to speak. Lol.

Train is approaching. I turn on my Ipod. "All of my fears he erased. Jesus. You saved the day." Kirk Franklin sang in my ears as I walked onto the train. It's not very crowded so there are a few seats and I sit down. He stands directly in front of me. I pull out my blackberry because his crotch is directly in my line of sight. I don't want to stare. He pulls out some sort of financial magazine. I can't help but smile. I know he's watching me.
Fat lady gets on at the next stop. She sits on my lap. I almost lose it but chocolate sexy man is standing in front of me. "We should be, making love. Instead of, breaking up. Cmon baby let me show you I'm for real. Lay in my bed" *smile* Mario sings as the train continues. Train is super crowded now and he moves closer to me. I'm wondering why I didn't wear my shades today. I coulda been sizing him up.

Every chance I get I'm sneaking a peak. Gosh he's so handsome. I keep smiling at my blackberry.
It's out stop..He moves aside so I can get off first. I still feel him looking at me..*sigh* Why doesn't he say something? I take one last look at him before I make a mad dash for the office. I'm running late. He looks as if he's going to follow me..he doesn't.
:-(
Maybe I'll see him tomorrow.


*ding dong*

Thank You for Riding the MTA