"Subway Series" *Summer Edition*

I hate people touching me. I especially hate when strangers touch me. I rarely shake hands and if I do I sanitize immediately after. I wear sweaters and jackets in 90 degree humid weather to avoid peoples skin touching me when in close proximity. Hey people have germs! Lol

It's the best weather of the summer yet. The sun is shining brightly and there is a slight breeze. It's not humid and it's under 80 degrees. I'm dressed in dark skinny jeans, a black camisole, 5 inch heels and my "Hollywood Mocha" shades.

I step onto the train rap music blasting. (Did I tell you rap music makes me violent?)

A young girl no older than 25 sits beside me. I inch away realizing I've left my jacket at home and my arms are bare. Closing my eyes I settle in for the ride. She coughs. My eyes open slowly. She coughs again. I let out a slow and steady breath. She coughs AGAIN!

My head snaps to my right as I glare at her. I realize it's not a sick cough but a dry cough. I search my bag for a candy and shove it at her. "Thank you" she says. I grunt and roll my eyes before attempting to relax again.

She gets off the train in another couple stops and I'm happy it's not crowded and none of these large humans will try to squeeze in beside me.

We arrive at 125th street station and it must be drug addict Wednesday. At least four of them get on and two sit on either side of me. I almost scream. I'm breathing heavily trying not to inhale the stench coming from the one to my left. I look over and he's holding a book out reading it. I look at his dirty fingers and notice his thumb nail is half gone and what's left is a blackish green color. I'm gaging.

The one on my right is fidgeting, going in his bag, playing with his headphones, going in his pockets. All the while his grimy hawaiian button down is brushing against my arm. I've had it with him! I swing my purse to push him off of me and growl, "What the fuck man!". Thank God it's my stop. I roll my eyes and push past the people trying to rush onto the train before the passengers get off. I bump a girl so hard she almost falls and turn to look at her DARING her to say something. She scurries onto the train.

I walk quickly up the stairs to wait for the next train. It arrives and I sit down. An older woman with a large purse and shopping bags sits beside me. I want to curse her but I don't because she is old enough to be my grandma. She nicely rests her purse on my leg. I suck my teeth and move my leg.

Oh no! My IPOD dies! Whyyyyy!!

She's chomping down on some chips or peanuts or something and her purse has made it's way back into my lap. I keep telling my self "She's old, leave her alone" but when the person beside her gets off she doesn't move over, I'm left to assume she's being spiteful. I push her bag off of my leg and suck my teeth, thinking "I dare you, grandma!" She moves her bag and continues to eat. I pull out my blackberry(R) and begin to type all the while thinking "I hate this shit"



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA.

"Subway Series" *drummer boy edition*

I don't mind some of the subway entertainers. They are actually quite entertaining but some of them are pushy,disruptive and obnoxious.


It's hot as hell. I'm wearing a knee length, white, cotton sundress,a shrug of a denim jacket and flip flops. Of course I'm wearing my "Hollywood Mocha" shades.

Sweat pours down my face as I walk briskly to the train sipping on a slushy from Dunkin Donuts.

The train arrives and I pull out my book. The train is EMPTY! I'm ecstatic. I sit in a nice little corner reading my book, sipping my slushy. Train stops a couple people get on. A little hispanic man in a baseball cap, shorts, a muscle shirt and sandals carrying a backpack smiles at me and sits beside me. I look at all the empty seats and scream "Are u fucking kidding me?!" I swing my bag to smack him and move to the other side the empty train. An older black man with a white goatee and a bald head dressed in khakis and a polo shirt chuckled. I scowl at him.

Reading my book I almost didn't notice the cutie in a charcoal suit, white shirt, no tie, open top buttons. I said ALMOST. Lol

Approaching my stop I close my book and exit the train. Waiting on the platform for my connecting train, I hear the African drum. I pull out my IPOD immediately and crank it up but not before I hear the drummer, a tall, heavyset, balding black man in baggy mom jeans and a dirty gray tee shirt say some about me being perfect. I ignore him and walk further down the platform. He follows, beating his drum and singing loudly. My back is to him and I can't really decipher what he's saying but judging from the smiles at me and giggles he is serenading me. I can feel the vibration of the drum and his voice. Sucking my teeth I fold my arms. He is really trying to get my attention. I am not amused and certainly not in the mood.

The train arrives and I walk on and sit preparing for another quick nap. As soon as I close my eyes, that damn drum starts up again and the large man start speaking loudly and then singing. I wish I had something to throw at him. "Shut the fuck up!!" I want to scream. There is a woman with two small children. She looks as annoyed as I. He comes and stands directly in front of me singing. Dude! Seriously!? "Get outta my got damned face!"

Ugghh, I hate him and everything he stands for! Thank God the doors open and a crowd of people rush onto the train. He gets off.

Thank you! Now..I lean back and prepare to nap. Oh damn, this is my stop! Fuck u drummer boy!



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

"Subwy Series" *Spring Edition*

It's the weekend. I hate taking the train but I especially hate taking the train on the weekend. There is always track work being done, rerouting, anything that equals delays!


It's a beautiful spring day. The sun is shining brightly. Dressed in light blue, denim jeans, a white, collared shirt, my heels are click clacking against the pavement. My hair which had been straight and neatly tucked behind my ears, now blew in a wavy tangled mess as I strutted. *click clack click clack* I'm walking to the train, headed 2 the city 2 have drinks with the girls.Wiping my forehead realizing it (the day) wasn't as beautiful as I had thought. It was, in fact, quite humid and uncomfortable.Rolling my eyes trying to pull my hair back into some sort of sensible style, I climbed the subway stairs.

The train arrived shortly after that and I walked on, IPOD blasting.

The train wasn't too crowded but I stood anyway. I didn't want 2 squeeze next to the fat man that was sizing me up or the woman with the fat toddler who was eating Doritos. I leaned back against the door and scanned the train. My eyes rested on a pair of huge leather boots. They were so fly! Dark reddish brown, pointed but not too pointy, laces and a strap. Definitely something you'd find on 8th Street in one of those shoe boutiques. A large Louie spy bag sat on the floor between the pointed boots. Light blue jeans tucked into the boots, white button up, perfectly manicured nails. Large, gold framed "Hollywood" shades. And a Dior scarf tied around the head? Hold on just one minute! This was me in my early twenties! I always rocked a scarf with or without a fedora and huge shades. Shoot, depending on how I feel, I STILL do. It's part of the reason why my friend Pete gave me the nickname Alicia C. (That was during the time Alicia Keys became popular.) But this was a MAN. And he was staring @ me. I looked down and realized we were dressed alike except I had on strappy sandals and no head scarf.

Then an announcement came over the loud speaker. "Last Stop!!" I mumbled a few curse words as I realized we were being told to take a shuttle bus. I was not pleased.

I scrambled with all the rest of the commuters to the awaiting shuttle buses.

Beads of sweat on my forehead. Nostrils flaring. I'm pissed! I stepped onto the bus. Pushed past the idiots standing by the door to the empty space toward the back.

I pass a young couple. The guy looks me up and down. The girl looks at me, at her man, back at me and rolls her eyes. "Eff you cunt" I say with my eyes. For this I stand in front of them, giving him a great view of my ass in my skin tight jeans.

The doors close and the bus pulls off. Jill Scott sings softly into my ears. I smile. Eyes resting on a toned arm of which the skin is so black and so smooth. Thick locks hung down to the elbow. I looked up into the darkest eyes with the darkest, thickest lashes I had ever seen. A perfectly lined beard around lips I wanted to bite. He was talking into a cell phone. His accent so thick and sexy. I immediately searched his fingers. I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. No rings! *giggle* I listened intently to what he was saying. "Yah baybey, mi ah come home in a lickle bit. Di train ah stop han mi haffi tek bus" Oh damn. Oh well, it doesn't hurt to look, right?

Finally, we arrive at the train station.

Cute dread man is forgotten as I hear the young girl yelling at her boyfriend for looking at my ass. I giggle and put a lil extra swing in my hips.



*Ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA.

4/19/10 "SUBWAY SERIES" *Train crush edition*

I'm feeling a little weak and drained. Awakened in the wee hours of the morning by an intense migraine so I'm moving in extra slow motion.


Dressed in a cream vneck sweater, dark slacks, cheetah print stilettos and a red trench coat, I walk slowly to the train. I'm not quite late so I don't make a mad dash when I hear a train approaching on the platform above me.

The sun is shining brightly. Its quite a beautiful day. I've remembered to apply sun block so I don't run to the shade.

I smile, visibly, when I see my train crush. I didn't mean to smile, he just looked so handsome in his crisp white shirt and his black trench with his smooth chocolate skin and bald head. *smile* I looked away as he strolled to where I stood on the platform. If only he would say something. I glanced at him again and then away as he walked and sat on the bench behind me. "Was that a smile?" I ask myself...did he give me the, "I see you looking" smile? Lol.

The train approaches. Its not the eastside train so I'll take it two stops and transfer. I have a perfect view of him and I feel myself smiling again. He really does have perfect features.

A seat opens and he sits. I wonder why when we get off at the next stop but he remains on the train as I exit.

I stand on the platform as two more westside trains pass. As the third westside train approaches I suck my teeth and board thinking I could've stayed on the first damn train with "TC" (train crush) and transferred further downtown. I slide into a seat next to a cute guy. He dressed decent. Slacks, shoes, shirt, blazer..but something about him looks unpolished.

He has on huge dj headphones. "Corny" I think to myself as he starts bopping extra hard to a rap song. He's making hand gestures and saying the words out loud. "Nigga....fuck...what" Nostrils flare. I turn my lip in disgust. I swing my purse extra hard to "accidentally" smack him with it. I turn and look at him in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me" I mutter. This fool smiles and gives me the "eye"..*gasp* Are u fucking joking? Do u honestly think I'm interested in you. *vomit*

Oh good my stop. I bustle off the train shaking my head because I missed an opportunity to stare at "TC" only to ride the train with "Homeboy from the hood..with a job"

*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

4/17/10 "Subway Series Weekend edition"

It's Sunday afternoon. I feel quite accomplished. I've just walked three miles for MS which is more than I will walk for the rest of the year. Lol.


Dressed in hoodies, sneakers, hollywood shades and capri running tights my friend and I walk onto the train. I'm struggling with a bag full of give aways and I'm wearing a black skully hat. Her hair is in a curly afro puff.
We are engaged in conversations about life, music and relationships.

We laugh as we talk about "racial profiling" on the train. Lol. Anyone who rides the train KNOWs what this is. On a semi crowded train you look for a pigment deficient to stand in front of because you know they are getting off at a particular stop. I explain that that doesn't always work for me because many times they are getting off at MY stop. I HAVE kind of mastered the art of recognizing the "Soprano" type that live near me. They have a more "European" look, rather than "American".

Throughout our conversation we notice and laugh about different things. The chubby guy wearing skinny jeans and sneakers with the large tongues hanging. The older black woman wearing glasses who appears to be reading a magazine but repeatedly looks up at us smiling. The white guy in jeans so tight he has a camel toe.

I point out two men who I know will be getting off at my stop. One in a black leather motorcycle jacket and dark hair and an older man with white hair and a dark gray smoking jacket.

My attention rests on the young hispanic woman who has been lip singing with her eyes closed the entire ride. I looked up and she's eating Mc Donald's fries. "Where did she get those from?", I ask my friend. We laugh and continue talking. I look up again and she has a fountain drink. "What the hell? Does she have a Mc Donald's in her purse?" Lol

We have now arrived at my friends stop, I laugh as I point out the two "Soprano" guys are still on the train.
I lean back and close my eyes..I'm exhausted. 15 minute cat nap will do me just fine.
The train arrives at my stop. I get up and sure enough, the two gentlemen get up to get off as well.
I laugh to myself. I knew it.
 
*ding dong*
Thank you for riding the MTA