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Friday, May 25, 2012

3/27/10 ~CrackHead Edition~

I have a filthy mouth. I curse sometimes just to curse but I HATE to hear other ppl curse. I cringe even more so when it's a young girl. I also use the "n word" often, but it pisses me off tremendously to hear other ppl use it in public, especially NON blacks. Did I mention I hate humans? *sigh*


I turn on my ipod as the train pulls into the station. Head nodding to the beat I walk onto the train.

I take a seat and lean back preparing for my 40 minute nap. Oh crap! My ipod dies mid song.

I'm pissed off now so when this young couple gets on with their loud ghetto talk, I am NOT amused.

I stare at them with disdain as I wonder why they are so loud. My eyes open wide as I realize these young people are drugies.

She's sitting directly across from me and I'm staring in disbelief. She is barely over 25, hispanic, with dark lips, and many missing teeth. She appears to be pregnant. A seat opens up near me and the guy sits. I look at him in disgust. Not because he is a crack head but because he's sitting next to me.

They are sitting across from each other shouting a conversation.

I immediately ask the female if she wants 2 sit in my seat. She declines.

He yells to her, "Get up! She sees we're talking to each other. She being nice." She shakes her head. He replies "That's aight. I don't mind sittin' next to her anyway, 'cause she pretty anyway. Don't she look like Diane?"

I'm not happy. I want to get the hell off the train. Why am I on this train? I'm trying my best not to scream, "Shut the fuck up!". I'm trying to distract myself with everything that I can. Fiddling in my purse, I pull out my trusty blackberry and continue the ping pong game I was started earlier that day. Why is he staring at it? "Yo that joint is moving mad fast. Oh oh. She's good"

I feel my face burning with anger. Is that steam coming from my ears? Am I growling? Lol

A seat opens up beside the girl and he moves over to her. And now the show begins. He starts antagonizing all the passengers nearest him. "What the fuck you looking at?" He screams at an older white woman. "Oh that niggas head is mad big! Fucking wet back" he screams at the Mexican man. The Mexican man just stares at him. The guy proceeds to scream at him, "What the fuck you lookin' at be? I should give u a buck fifty across ya face. You lucky I don't have a gun or knife on me." The mexican man just stares at him while everyone else avoids his eyes. "If we was locked up I would fuck you up. A nigga just got home. I don't give a fuck about nothing." Enter the Asian woman selling DVDs. He whispers loudly to the girl, "Watch this" to the Asian woman, "Let me see what you got"

At this point I'm over the show and wondering why the hell haven't they gotten off the train yet. I'm looking around to see what stop we're approaching, because this is some south Bronx shit. Lol

He attempted to steal the DVDs and tell the woman he was a cop and she had no license to sell. He continues to scream at the Mexican man. "You oblay ispanal?"

I need out. I have to get off this train. Oh great they are getting off. "Bye pretty" he says to me as he exits.

I roll my eyes and think to myself, "This is what I get being cheap and taking the train instead of a cab." I knw better nxt time.

It' seems as if everyone let out a sigh of relief as the couple exits the train.

I can't wait to get back to my side of town and back to normal civilization.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA

March 22 "Subway Crush Series"

I had to run back to the house because I had forgotten something. Good thing I wasn't late YET but of course, when I arrived at the station there is some idiot who doesn't knw how to swipe her metro card.

The train is coming and there is a line because she is running back and forth swiping at each turnstile. I shake my head as I push past her and swipe my card. Greeted by a throng of teens running down the stairs. I reach the top just as the doors of the train close. GREAT! Now I'm probably going to be late.

Nostrils flaring I stand looking to see if another train is coming. The dumb ass that couldn't swipe her metro card is mumbling something abt me taking her fare. I wish she WOULD say something to me. I look to my left and see one of my train crushes.  He's tall. About 6' 4", he has a smooth milk chocolate complexion. Bald que ball head. lol No facial hair. Nice full lips. He's always dressed sharp. He's wearing dark pin striped slacks with a crisp white shirt and a dark cardigan. He's wearing brown italian shoes and has on glasses today. He's carrying his Tommy Hilfiger man purse. He stands in his usual spot near the stairs. He doesn't notice me yet so I can stare for a while before appearing like a stalker. *giggle* He looks up and sees me. I pretend not to see him. This means he's going to move closer but of course he's not going to speak. Lol.

Train is approaching. I turn on my Ipod. "All of my fears he erased. Jesus. You saved the day." Kirk Franklin sang in my ears as I walked onto the train. It's not very crowded so there are a few seats and I sit down. He stands directly in front of me. I pull out my blackberry because his crotch is directly in my line of sight. I don't want to stare. He pulls out some sort of financial magazine. I can't help but smile. I know he's watching me.
Fat lady gets on at the next stop. She sits on my lap. I almost lose it but chocolate sexy man is standing in front of me. "We should be, making love. Instead of, breaking up. Cmon baby let me show you I'm for real. Lay in my bed" *smile* Mario sings as the train continues. Train is super crowded now and he moves closer to me. I'm wondering why I didn't wear my shades today. I coulda been sizing him up.

Every chance I get I'm sneaking a peak. Gosh he's so handsome. I keep smiling at my blackberry.
It's out stop..He moves aside so I can get off first. I still feel him looking at me..*sigh* Why doesn't he say something? I take one last look at him before I make a mad dash for the office. I'm running late. He looks as if he's going to follow me..he doesn't.
:-(
Maybe I'll see him tomorrow.


*ding dong*

Thank You for Riding the MTA

~The Staring Edition~




Dressed in black leggings, large shades, cheetah print fedora, 5inch sandals, and a white, light weight, cotton/linen blend blouse, I'm hot and aggravated.
I've gotten off at the wrong train stop and to top it off my meeting place has changed.
I'm fuming as I stand on the platform waiting for the next train. I want to slap everybody and their mother.
A chubby faced Hispanic boy, no older than six, runs past me and pokes me in the butt. I want to grab him and throw him onto the tracks but his mom looks so tired and over him. She looks at me apologetically. I just shake my head.
Santana plucks the strings of his guitar and the words, "Oye como va" play in my ears as my hips begin to sway to the beat of the drum. This tune somehow aids in easing my anger.
The train arrives and I walk on and take a seat. I'm settling in, fidgeting with my bags when I look across from me at what I thought was an empty seat.
Well looky here! Eyebrow raised, I size him up. He was a dread. Not the ones that wear dread for fashion but the type that looks like he smells like oils and burns incents daily and doesn't eat meat.  The type that enjoys walking barefoot and giving his woman baths in rose petals. Lmao.
I stare behind my large shades not caring if he can see me or not.
His hair is pulled back and wrapped up. He wore gold rimmed shades on an almond colored, smooth face. A face that was chiseled and manly. I continued to stare unapologetically as I sipped my slushy.
His shoulders weren't large but broad and masculine.  He wore a green vneck tshirt which allowed me to view his strong collarbone. I looked at his toned arms. He wore no jewelry aside from a leather wristband, much like a few in my jewelry box. His jeans were cuffed at the bottom and rested atop worn, hightop sneakers that I gather were vintage collectibles.
I continued to stare unsure if he was aware of my gaze. I did not care. I stared. I shook my head at myself wondering what the point was. I just could not stop staring. He began to fidget. I did not break my stare and continued to sip my slushy.
The train stopped. A group of girls got on. They were hispanic or Brazilian. Not exactly pretty, but attractive. One with a Kim kardashian body. A pretty faced, large, pale skinned, black girl with Jessica Rabbit sexiness walked on and sat beside  the dread, a seat away. I continued to stare. He did not even notice her.
I smirk and stare.
He fidgets. 
I sip my slushy and stare. 
He removes his shades and pulls out a book. 
I stare. 
He looks up at me. And lowers his eyes shyly. 
I smirk. Sip my slushy and stare. 
More people get onto the train. They are blocking my view. I move over slightly and continue to stare. 
My train stop is approaching. Big girl, Jessica Rabbit gets up. He glances over at her but quickly returns his eyes to  the book. 
I stare. He looks up. With the eyes of a puppy. He stares. He blinks rapidly and looks as if he's panicking when he realizes I'm getting off the train. I am walking off the train. I look back. He stares. 
I shake my head thinking, "Dummy". 


*ding dong* 
Thank you for riding the MTA 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

~Dread Stalker Edition~

It's an unseasonably warm day. One of many in April. I'm annoyed that my plans are delayed because I had to take my phone to be serviced.


I take off the 5in heels I've been wearing and throw on my flats so I can hurry through rush hour body traffic. Lol

I rush down the stairs to the subway. My eyes spot long locks halfway pinned up. They travel down to see broad shoulders and further down to observe THE most bowed legs I've ever see. The dark blue, pin striped, Italian cut suit is a perfect fit. I didn't realize I had followed him, the entire length of the platform, until he stopped and I almost bumped into him. I looked down at my feet as I quickly scurried past him.

I only walked a few short steps before I stopped, turning to catch a glimpse of his face.

He was looking at me. I felt my face flush. Did he know that I was following him? Did he know that I was staring? I chuckled at myself as I remembered I was in my “Hollywood Mocha” shades. Surely he couldn’t see my eyes.

The local train arrived and I walked on. I looked over and he was entering the train as well. I looked for a seat so I could put my heels back on. I sat but my heels were forgotten as I stared at him taking him all in. The hair. The suit. The legs. My stop was approaching and in a blatant attempt to see him up close I stood up and walked to where he stood. I became shy and turned away.

The doors opened and I felt a body close to mine. I turned around and realized he was getting off too. His long bowed legs carrying him way faster than I. I followed. Down the platform. Out of the station. Onto the street. I followed him for two blocks before I shook my head and laughed wondering, “What the hell are u doing?” I stopped and proceeded to the restaurant where I was to meet a friend for drinks.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA.

~Spiked Heel Edition~

If you've followed this blog, I'm sure you're aware, by now, my disgust with humans, ESPECIALLY "men" who push ahead of women to get a seat on the train.


I stepped off of the local train onto the platform. With my curly faux hawk, hollywood Mocha shades, 5in spiked heels, cropped, black, wool jacket and hot pink "Michelle Obama type" dress, I was NOT to be messed with.

My face remained stoic but in my head I smiled as the masses parted to let me walk through.

The train arrived quickly and I noticed a short Hispanic man to my left inching in front of me. I rolled my eyes in disgust as I saw all the women and children he was snaking his way in front of.

I extended my elbow and stepped in front of him as I allowed the people to exit the train and the women and children to go ahead. He seemed perturbed and tried to push past me. I extended my foot.
I walked onto the train and he rushed past me to sit. I sat beside him crossing my legs and stabbing him in the leg with my heel. An older woman stood in front of us. I kicked the man beside me as I stood asking her if she'd like to sit. I noticed he had turned his head in the opposite direction. She smiled sweetly and assured me that she was fine and I should rest my feet with the tall heels I wore. She proceeded to praise me and tell me of how she once wore heels that high, but on more. I smiled as I turned my music up.

I returned to my seat, kicking the man yet again.

He turned to look at me, I raised an eyebrow looking over my glasses into his eyes, daring him to say something to me.
He turned away.

Punk bitch.



*ding dong*

Thank you for riding the MTA